I paced the NICU corridors, baby swaddled in one arm, trolley of cords and beeping machines in the other. I wanted to take him and run. Honestly, I might have – if he weren’t connected to the place.
Sleep-deprived, my nervous system frayed, I clung to him and whispered on repeat:
”We are taking you home. Without the cords. We are never coming back”
(Of course we went back – many times.)
All I wanted was to hold him freely, to sleep beside him in our own bed, with our other two children around us. A simple dream.
I began making deals with the universe:
”Get him unplugged and ill be a better mother- less focused on the dishes and the clothes, more present”
”Let us go home and I won’t complain about how hard motherhood is. I’ll just be grateful and love every moment”
(As if that were even possible)
It was the middle of covid 19. Only one parent could be in the NICU. I watched the mothers around me, each absorbed in their own private negotiations with fate. That’s when I started thinking about the subconscious trades we all make, every day.
The Trades we Don’t See
The bedtime stories we trade for a clean kitchen.
The family holidays we trade for a landscaped backyard or a newer car.
The years we trade for a bigger home, a fancier life.
Small trades we make without noticing the cost – until it’s staring us in the face.
”okay you take bath time with my toddler and give me an empty washing basket”
”you can have a clean, organised home, but that comes at the cost of teaching your daughter to read”
No deal.
In fact, family travel has a way of shining a light on the trades we make.
Sleep ins traded for sunrises or early flights. Bedtime routines traded for night sleeper trains (cheaper). Organised homes traded for spontaneous adventure.
When we travel, every moment together feels more intentional. Every small sacrifice becomes part of the story we’re building as a family.
All the late nights planning trips, and money saved making coffee at home – led to this moment: watching my kids explore a Lombok village, with the local children.
Pause and Notice
We all make trades, silently. However, family travel teaches us to pause and notice what we are giving up – and what we are gaining. It reminds us why the sacrifices matter: for the memories, the connection, and the joy of being together.
If you’d like to see more on our Lombok trip visit our Instagram account @drift_wood6
